Dr RashmiDr RashmiThere is a question I have been asked more times than I can count in thirty-five years of practice — more than “will the fever come down” and almost as often as “doctor sahab, will my child need glasses.” The question is simple, but it carries the weight of every parent’s love and worry in it:
“Doctor sahab, mera bachcha theek se badh raha hai na?” (Doctor, my child is developing properly, isn’t he/she?)
I have heard this from mothers sitting on the edge of a chair in my Lucknow clinic, dupatta clutched in one hand, a notebook of milestones written in the other because their mother-in-law told them to keep a record. I have heard it from fathers who came straight from office, tie still on, worried because the neighbour’s child of the same age was already speaking in full sentences. I have heard it from grandparents who compared their grandchild to “hamare zamane ke bachche” (children of our generation/our time), as if development were a race everyone ran at the same pace.
Let me tell you what I tell all of them, sitting across my table: every child has their own ghadi (clock). But there are also some general signposts, some milestones, that help us know whether that clock is ticking in a healthy range. This blog is my attempt to explain those signposts in plain language, the way I would explain them to a family sitting in front of me.
Milestones are not a report card. They are not something to compare with the neighbour’s Rohan or Aditi at the birthday party. They are simply checkpoints that tell doctors like me — and you, the parents — whether the brain and body are developing along an expected path.
Think of it like the foundation of a house being built in your colony. You don’t judge a house by whether the paint is done on day 10. You check whether the foundation, the pillars, the beams are coming up in the right order, at roughly the right pace. Child development works the same way — motor skills, language, social behaviour and thinking skills all build on each other.
That said — and I say this with the confidence of having examined thousands of children — a two- or three-month variation in a single milestone is almost never something to lose sleep over. Bachche apni marzi se badhte hain (Children grow at their own will/pace). What matters is the overall pattern, not one isolated delay.
In these early months, we are watching for the basics of survival and connection:
If a baby is not making any eye contact at all by 3 months, or seems unusually floppy or unusually stiff, that is worth a conversation with your paediatrician — not panic, just a conversation.
This is when personality really starts to peek through.
I always tell parents — this is the age of “duniya dekhna” (seeing/exploring the world), discovering the world. If a baby of 6 months shows zero interest in toys or faces around them, that’s a flag worth checking, not something to wait out.
This is often the most exciting — and exhausting — stretch for parents.
Ab bachcha thoda “apni marzi ka malik” (master of their own will/wishes) ban jaata hai — the toddler starts asserting independence, and vocabulary starts growing.
If a child has fewer than 10 words by 18 months, or is not combining any words by 2 years, or has lost skills they once had — this is genuinely worth an evaluation, and I would say so directly to any parent sitting with me.
This is the age of “yeh kya hai” (what is this), “woh kya hai” (what is that) — endless questions, and I tell tired parents this is a wonderful sign, not an annoyance to survive.
Many children start nursery or playschool around this age, which naturally becomes a milestone-testing ground on its own.
Here is where I want to be very direct, because too much reassurance without honesty does families no good.
Please consult a paediatrician or paediatric neurologist if you notice:
I want to be clear — one of these alone, especially if slightly delayed, is usually not an emergency. But if you notice a pattern, or your gut feeling as a parent keeps nagging you, please do not wait for the next birthday to “see if it improves.” Trust that instinct. In my experience, mothers especially have a sense for these things much before anyone else notices, including doctors.
In thirty-five years, I have sat with thousands of families across Lucknow and the surrounding areas — from Hazratganj to Gomti Nagar to families who have travelled from Barabanki and Sitapur for a consultation. And if there is one thing I want every parent reading this to take home, it is this:
Development is not a competition, and it is certainly not a reflection of your worth as a parent. Every child — whether born in a big hospital or at home with a dai (traditional midwife), whether the first grandchild in a joint family or the fifth — grows at their own pace, shaped by genetics, environment, love, and opportunity. Our job as doctors is not to make every child fit into one mould, but to catch genuine delays early enough that we can help.
So keep noticing your child. Keep talking to them, playing with them, reading to them, even if it is just old rhymes your own nani (maternal grandmother) used to sing. And if something feels off — trust yourself enough to ask. That is what we are here for.This article is for general awareness and does not replace a proper clinical evaluation. Every child is unique, and if you have concerns about your child’s development, please consult a paediatrician or paediatric neurologist for a personal assessment.